Written by Devin Miller, Relate Contributing Writer

When we least expect it, that nasty, green-eyed monster lurks around the corner, forcing us to put up a good fight. Jealousy is an emotion we all deal with, whether we admit it or not.

Learning to overcome this feeling is a skill that you will undoubtedly use throughout your life. A study from the journal of Developmental Psychology shows that females are more often jealous than males. Researchers believe this is because we set higher standards of loyalty, kindness, empathy and commitment. When these standards are not met, we become jealous of our friends. Fearing that we will lose friendships, we act in jealous ways to “protect” them.

Unfortunately, many times this “protective” behavior backfires. Feeling insecure, inadequate or vulnerable can also lead to jealousy. When we feel badly about ourselves, the green-eyed monster can sneak into all aspects of our life. Whether it is at home, at school, or at work, jealousy spreads uncontrollably. Relationships are major hot spots for the creation of jealousy. One day after school, you see your boyfriend laugh and put his arm around another girl. Many girls, if put in that situation, would admit to feeling a hint of jealousy at the least. If you are feeling this way, talk to your boyfriend about it. Communication is key to making a relationship work; honesty, trust and sensitivity play a huge role in defeating romantic jealousy.

We all know “that girl”–the girl with the perfect body, the best looks, straight A’s, a cute boyfriend, and the trendiest clothes. “That girl” can be the movie star on the cover of a magazine, the popular girl at school, or even a best friend. The truth is, “that girl” probably has her own insecurities that you don’t know about. Believe it or not, the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Overcoming jealousy starts with staying focused on you! If you are constantly worrying about everyone else, it will be extremely difficult to achieve your own goals in life. Comparing yourself to others is not only a waste of time, but also a huge waste of energy. Count your blessings and take care of the great things you have! After remembering all of the things you are grateful for, defeating the green-eyed monster will be a quick and painless battle.

Tags: developmental psychology, green-eyed monster, jealousy, loyalty, relationships