Written by DeAnna Britton, Relate Contributing Writer

It doesn’t matter what year you are in college; once you leave home and then go back, it’s always different. I still remember my first time coming home from New York when I was a freshman. I had decided to fly home for Thanksgiving and so I flew into Logan Airport in Boston. When I landed, I did the usual and went to get my luggage and then headed outside to the pick-up area. I called my parents and they said they’d be there in ten minutes. While I waited, I looked around me and just started crying. I called my best friend and told her I was in Boston and that’d I would be home soon. I told her I didn’t know why I was crying. It may have been because those three months in New York were the longest I had ever been away from home. My family drove up and put my luggage in the trunk, and then I got into the car and cried uncontrollably while my brother rubbed my back.

My first summer home was even more difficult. It was like I was living two different lives. I felt like two completely different people. When you go to college, you act different because you’re with different kinds of people; these aren’t your best friends you’ve known forever. These are strangers. The things I had in common with my friends at school weren’t what I had in common with my friends from home. Plus, I live in the complete opposite atmosphere at school. I lived the city life; at home, it’s more of a country life. This transition was hard to get used to because I was constantly trying to balance my two worlds. The one thing I’ve learned is that it’s pretty much impossible to get the balance right. With Facebook and texting now, it’s easier but it may not set well with people at home. My friends from high school get mad when I am constantly texting my friends from college. They say that I get to see them all the time while they only get to see me in the summer and holidays. That’s true, but what they don’t understand is that I’m constantly texting them while I’m at school. It ends up being the same thing but they just don’t see that. That’s where the hurdles come in… trying to make everyone happy.

I’ve often found myself wanting to spend less time at home and want to be at school more. It’s not because I don’t want to see my friends and family, it’s simply because I’ve grown accustomed to living there. It has been my home for almost three years, whereas Maine is my temporary home for vacations now. It’s sad when the place you grew up in becomes just some place you like to visit, but I think it’s a part of growing up. I was meant to go explore the world; I’ve known that from the very start. So, it’s alright to let go, it’s okay to grow up and out. Find somewhere where you can be yourself and some place that makes you feel whole. That’s what really matters in the end. All the people who you know and love will still love you even if you live in a different country. Just don’t forget to keep in contact with them.

I doubt there will ever be a solution to my two different lives dilemma. For right now, this works though: Just be yourself, no matter where you are.