What Summer Jobs Taught Me, Pt 3

Written by Ellen Marie Hawkins

Summer Jobs

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For me, summer is drawing to a close, and I’m breathing again for the first time since the last week of May. It’s only been four days since my summer job ended, and some of it seems so surreal. Why was it so awful for me? I had such high hopes for all of it. Where did I go wrong?

I think back to one of my babysitting jobs, the one where the toddler poured a bottle of bubbles on the floor and the older sister sang the Empire Carpet song, and I remember at only fourteen, I would often pick up the toys before they were done playing with them. Even then, I hated chaos. That, and I didn’t want to get in trouble with their parents. I wanted to appear responsible. I don’t know which is more true. Maybe, they’re equal.

So what made me think that jumping headfirst into a summer camp that had 20-30 students every day was a good idea? I love teaching martial arts. I enjoy helping people, especially teenagers. So why was I miserable every day?

I blame it on the chaos. When I was teaching class, the kids were usually fine, but as soon as we changed out of our uniforms, the kids became unmanageable to me. I hated not always having a plan. As soon as there was order and an organized activity, I felt better, but even then, the children didn’t always listen, and I felt like I was failing.

And there was also the unspeakable tension between adults, and I watched, helpless, as sides were taken and lines were drawn. I was exasperated. Why can’t we all just get along? But not everyone agrees how things should be done, and sometimes, we get so bull headed that we get tunnel vision. The right way is our way or the highway, and that creates a very, very frigid work environment. Compromise is essential. So is true compassion. We have to listen to each other.

That said, my plans for the future are no longer so clear to me. I thought I wanted a major part, as in, co-owner, of a taekwondo school someday. Because of this summer’s experiences, even my love for the art is waning. How could I consider ever having major responsibility? So I feel disorientated. A significant part of who I thought I was is in question.

Fortunately, I think everything works for a reason, thanks to God, and I’m grateful to Him for revealing some truths to me that I wouldn’t have learned otherwise. It’s painful, but I’m grateful. I have to assess who I am, what my talents are, and where to go from here. By eliminating who I am not, who I am comes to light. I find comfort in the talents that have always been there, the ones that make me proud of who I am, and certain that God does have a purpose for me.

I’m not just happy that this summer is over. I’m happy that I’m re-envisioning the dreams that I’ve always had but the ones that I’ve tried to bury so many times before because I was afraid to fail. You may think that your job handing out burgers was just a waste of time, but I promise, you’ll learn a lot about yourself by how you handled it; what you enjoyed, and what made you miserable. The prods and nudges might be subtle, or, for someone like me, they might be obvious, but your summer job may give you more insight than what you could have ever guessed.

Tags: babysitting, camp, jobs, summer