Growing Pains

Are you feeling conflicted at the moment? Like you don’t understand yourself anymore?  One minute you seem to be happy and calm, the next you are blowing off in an angry rage?  Maybe you have fallen out with a friend recently and you aren’t sure what you have done.  

Growing up is so tough.  When you become a parent you tend to get lost in how tough parenting is and forget what it was like to be going through so many hormonal changes, experiencing your first heart breaks, the pressure to work hard at school.  Adults can pretty quickly dismiss the issues you are going through and can make you feel that something which matters to you is really small.  

They don’t mean it, it’s just that they have so many issues going on that in their mind, having a friend who has fallen out with you, is really not a big deal.  Compared with having to pay for the house, or losing your job.  The problem is though is that it is all relative.  You don’t have to deal with the problems your parents do, your time will come, so currently the problems you are experiencing matter as much to you, as the problems your parents face.  So don’t feel guilty, or that your problems and worries don’t matter.  Because they do.  Don’t be angry at your parents either, they don’t mean to forget what it was like being a teen.

So how can you help yourself through your teenage years?  Firstly there are some mind blowing self development books which you can read.  These could help you become more aware of who you are and help you to focus your mind on problem solving.  Which is going to help you a lot over the next few years.  Of course The Bible is the best self development book out there! There are other ways though, to get through your issues and help make peace with yourself.  So let’s take a look at a few.

Firstly, the sisterhood is really important.  Your female friends understand exactly what you are going through on a day to day basis.  No matter how good the boys are, they just won’t get the hormones.  Sorry girls.  The sisterhood is also important because you understand what it is like to feel most of the emotions other girls are going through.  You get that no matter what anyone says, you feel too fat or too skinny.  You know what it is like to stand in the dressing room and feel worried about getting changed.  You know how hard it is to walk past the confident girls, because even if you are seen as one of them, you aren’t really.  Not all the time.  

Stand by your fellow females.  Don’t judge them or make fun of them.  You need to build them up so if you see another girl struggling, go to her aid.  Don’t bully other girls and if you see another girl being bullied, stand up.  Always.  Do not be afraid.  Too many girls turn the other way because they don’t want to get involved.  Do get involved.  

Don’t ignore the boys though, yes we need to stick together but that shouldn’t mean standing up against men.  It means working with them.  We have a slightly easier time of it that boys because girls tend to talk their feelings over more.  So get with the boys and help them talk a little more too.  You will discover a lot more about yourself when you hear a boy talking about girls.  You might even realize what it is that matters to boys.  Because it certainly isn’t the things you worry about.

Understand your parents and talk to them.  You want their respect and honesty, so give them yours.  Yes, ok parents can be pretty uncool when it comes to some matters but the truth is, they have been through almost every single emotion you are going through.  It might be tough to bring up your innermost thoughts with your mum, but trust us, she is going to drop everything to help you.  You might have to be a little persistent.  Sometimes parents need to be really stopped and told “this is important” before they really acknowledge it.  Parents have buzzwords which will get their attention.  Such as ‘help’ and ‘I’m scared’ or ‘I really need you’ these phrases are unignorable by most moms and dads.  So think of them like a computer that needs programming. Say the right words and they will listen.

Whatever you are feeling, talking is always the best way forward.  So do it.  Talk and keep talking.