by Joanna Paula L. Cailas

There I was fervently babbling about Holy Will and divine intervention and mercy and grace, praying for my crush. Only when I’m back home do I whack my forehead and think O Godric, I didn’t even pray for my asthmatic brother! That’s how forgetful emotion can make you. And if you’re not convinced, just check any statistic record of how many people kill because of rage and how many people both make love and kill because of, well, love.
We’re surrounded by media that more or less suggests that sex is part of life’s fun, and fun is never prohibited, right?

We are advised to say no, but while there are steps for saying no to drugs, cigarettes and booze, what about saying no to premarital sex?
We’re not little animals here, so I won’t talk about hormones as if we’re little mousies responding to our genetic make-up. When you think about it, or when you are asked, you definitely wouldn’t say it was hormones that made you kiss your first boy/girlfriend. How totally unromantic. No, you laid your lips on his/hers because s/he was making your heart pound so much at that moment you just had to make him/her know you were lovestruck and actions always yell better than words.
It’s not hormones. It’s our emotions. ‘Your love’, to speak romantically. Understanding this makes it easier to take action, and makes us responsible because we can always do something about what we feel. Like when I feel I’m about to punch my brother. I take a deep breath and count to three. No, ten. No, twenty.
Dieting—no sweet shop. Dating—no closeted space where emotions can cage us. We go to malls. Or resorts, or restaurants. Not to cabins in the woods unless it’s a camping party. No at-homes when it’s home-alone.
Another tip. When cuddling too closely and kissing too deeply and fondling too intimately, put a name to the deed. This alleviates the mood somewhat and toggles the switch from heart to mind mode. In those low books that would make Vatsayana blush, it’s never, ‘They sat down on the couch and began necking.’ Instead, it’s a detailed account of sensations and feelings. So stop feeling and start thinking and voice the thought. “Isn’t this necking? Shouldn’t we stop?” That’s like saying, ‘Isn’t this a match? Are we allowed to play with it?’ There will be laughter (Thanks, Captain Obvious!), maybe a scowl (Spoilsport!), but no fire.
Next time, I’ll think I’m mooning over my crush instead of thinking the universe was conspiring to get us together. Then maybe I’ll remember to pray for my more urgent petitions.

written by: Crystal Kelly

Guy Checklist

Safeguard your standards before they are tested. Determine right now what you want in the guy you choose to date. Do not make the mistake of dating first and trying to figure if this is what you want or do not want in a guy. When you go to the mall you have a budget and you know what you are looking for, so why not do the same with the guy you are considering in your life? In order to do this here is a safety checkoff list that will help you to determine if “that” guy is the right guy for you.

1) Does he believe in God? If so does he follow God or just claim to?

2) Where are his eyes when he is talking with me or other girls?

3) What kind of people does he hang with? Are they Christians? What kind of morals do they possess?

4) What kind of language comes out of his mouth?

5) Is he eager to meet my family and friends or only wants to spend time with me? (this type of thing may be flattering but in all actuality it can be a sign of control, a guy should want to meet your family to see how you were raised and who was responsible. He should also want to meet your friends because he should also have a moral checklist)

6) Is he insistent on you meeting with his family and friends?

7) Does he encourage your dreams or is he critical of you all the time (claiming he only wants the best for you)?

8) Has he clearly defined his goals in life and is he making the steps which leads to reaching those goals?

9) Do you have the same interests really or are you just attracted to how he looks or who he is?

10) What kind of places does he suggests for dates do they make you feel comfortable or uncomfortable?

11) If you ask him a direct question does he dance around the answer or look you straight in the eyes and answer the question? (if asked a question and someone dances around it they are hiding something yet at the same time wanting to seem as though they have answered your question. Beware of this behavior these are warning signs of secrecy that will ultimately lead to straight out lies and distrust.)

12) Does he talk about living together rather than getting married (suggesting the common line of “we should see how well we mesh together before making such a serious commitment” this is definitely out of God’s will)?

13) Does he want to touch more than talk?

14) Can you share openly and honestly with your mother about what the two of you did on a date?

15) Do you feel like you can be yourself around him or do you feel as though you have to change to make him happy? (the person you are should be appreciated and respected not trampled on and made to feel inadequate)

16)Is he respectful of your times away from each other or is he is jealous?

17)Does he respect your levels of comfort or is he critical or judgmental towards it?

These are just a few things you may want to be aware of when evaluating whether or not to allow a guy into your precious environment. Sometimes it may seem as though you are the only one without someone because you have set standards so high that no one could fill. Do not believe that, God has set high standards for you because you are a child of the king. Do not live in a world of dreams in which reality turns around and bites you. Wake up and deal with the hard issues that will guide you down a path of non-regret. A princess is not allowed to marry just anyone but she must marry “the one” usually chosen by her father the king. Work through the moral standards God has chosen for you and you will have a true happy beginning with the guy God has chosen.

Written by: Jill Sheets

David Spencer Sanchez, Job-Link Racine

Picture credit: Alix Sanchez.

Recently I had the honor of interviewing one of the winners of the Gloria Barron Prize
for Young Heroes, David Spencer Sanchez. He founded Job-Link Racine. Continue to
read on an learn more about David and about Job-Link Racine.

R: Tell us a little bit about yourself?

D: I am 19 years old and I grew up in Racine, Wisconsin, although I was born in Illinois.
My parents are immigrants to the US and have instilled a strong work ethic in me and
a real appreciation for the opportunities in this country. My dad is Colombian and my
mom is Australian. In high school, I was extremely active in sports, Key Club, theater,
and was Student Government President. After graduating May (2010), I went to college
at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee and am now a freshman there, double-
majoring in Political Science and Film Studies.

R: Tell us about Job-Link Racine.

D: I founded Job-Link Racine to link homeless (and later low-income) teenagers in
my school district with part-time job opportunities to teach them important life skills,
give them a sense of personal pride, and help their families become self-sufficient. It
was several years in the making and evolved from a brief encounter with a homeless
man and my study of the homeless issue through a grant I received in eighth grade. It
was surprising to learn that there are over 1,000 documented homeless students in my
hometown. I met with dozens of employers, community leaders, and business groups
to present the project and locate jobs for students. I enlisted the help of high school
counselors to identify qualified students for the program, interviewed students for
placement, worked with them on their job applications, and arranged training workshops.
Through an online competition, I was awarded a grant of $10,000 to fund the project and
help with clothing, training, and transportation for the students.
In the summer of 2009, Job-Link partnered with the Racine Workforce Development
Center which received funding through federal stimulus dollars for “green jobs.”
Together, we offered 800 students interviews, placed, and trained 220 youth in summer
jobs, including many Job-Link students.

R: How did you come up with the idea?

D: It didn’t overnight. As I said, Job-Link Racine was several years in the making.
Seeing the homeless man on the corner opened my eyes to an issue. Receiving a grant
from WCATY (Wisconsin Center for Academically Talented Youth) and volunteering at
homeless shelters led me to understand the issue. I wanted to somehow be part of finding
a solution, and creating Job-Link Racine seemed to be the logical “next step.” I’d also

had a part-time job as a busboy in a restaurant since I turned 14, and I knew how much
pride I felt doing my job and being paid for it.

R: What did your mom think about your handing over your tips to the homeless man?

D: I don’t think she minded at all, since she suggested leaving the tips in the car in case
we ran into the man in the future.

David Spencer Sanchez, Job-Link Racine

Picture credit: Alix Sanchez

R: What did your family think when you told them about your idea?

D: My brother and sister did amazing service projects in high school, so it was probably
no surprise to my family that I wanted to follow in their footsteps. I think my parents
had a much better handle on the challenges ahead than I did. In hindsight, I thought it
sounded simple: find jobs for teenage kids who could really use a break in life. Of course,
I was not counting on the economic downturn.

R: What can people do if they are interested in helping out with the Job-Link Racine?
D: Job-Link Racine is no longer operational.

R: How did you get nominated for the Gloria Barron Prize for Young Heroes?

D: My high school counselor nominated me and other members of the community
provided letters of recommendation.

R: How did you find out that you were one of the winners?

D: The Barron Prize notified me by phone, and then I received the official package of
information. It was a wonderful honor and a great surprise since the nomination had been
submitted many months before.

R: How does it feel to make a difference in the world?

D: Many people focus on the numbers…how many teenagers did we help? How many
interviews did we set up or how many jobs did we find. More important than the
numbers is the impact on individual teenagers. We have shown hard-to-place students
with less than ideal high school records, that someone is willing to take a chance on
them. It’s hard to put a value on something like that.

R: What are your future goals?

D: Certainly, my medium-term goal is to get through college and learn as much as I can.
From there, I may go to law school and practice law or go into politics. I am also a Film

Studies major….so who knows, I might find a spot in Hollywood. In the short-term,
I am planning to spend the summer in South America volunteering for 8 weeks with 2
different organizations to create a marketing video to help them recruit volunteers.

R: What is the best advice you have ever gotten and by who?

D: My older brother, Tyler, likes to say, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t
take.” It reminds me that sometimes you just have to go for it. Sometimes that means
traveling outside your comfort zone. Sometimes it means failure, but in the end, all your
experiences add up to something worthwhile.

David Spencer Sanchez, Job-Link Racine

Picture credit: Alix Sanchez

R: What advice would you give someone who wanted to help out the
environment or help out the world in some way?

D: Go for it! Focus on what interests you and what you can do, rather than being
paralyzed by what you think you can’t do. Sometimes a small action can lead to a bigger
action. You’ll be surprised at what you can do and the impact you can have. Above all,
you will be surprised at how good it makes you feel to get involved in your community.

R: Does Job-Link Racine have a website? What is the address? Is it on any social
networking sites? If so, what is the address?
D: I am no longer running Job-Link Racine as it would need real hands-on care. Right
now, since I am in a new city, I am trying to figure out whether I can recreate Job-Link
Racine in Nashville, or if I can serve the community in another way.

R: Is there anything else you would like to add?

D: I often think back to the night this all began when my mother was driving me to my
first job. That solitary man standing on the street corner really “spoke” to me. I was
unable to do anything for him, but he called me to action. He showed me the enormous
disparities in our communities and the importance for each of us to find solutions, rather
than look uncomfortably at the problems and head in the opposite direction.

Valentine’s Day survey conducted by social texting application textPlus.

Texting

“b mine” “I <3 u” “ur hot” – not exactly sonnets, but these little love notes are what today’s teenagers are most likely to send and receive on February 14…

According to a survey of 705 textPlus users ages 13-17:

-        Nearly 40% said they think it’s ok to tell someone “I love you” for the first time via text message, and 35% have actually done it

-        35% of those who choose to say “I love you” in text don’t spell out the word “love” – they use the common text symbol <3 (a heart)

-        And often they’re not careful – 30% admitted to accidentally texting “I love you” to the wrong person at least once!

Clearly the rules of love are changing in the digital age – so what does a romance today look like?  textPlus resident “textpert” Drew Olanoff offers these tips for texters in love:

1.      Saying “I love you” over text is perfectly fine – as long as you follow it up with a face-to-face “I love you.”  You can’t ONLY say it over SMS.

2.      Send your Valentine a photo of you blowing a kiss or making a heart shape with your hands – visuals can be sweet

3.      Surprise your significant other by texting “open the door” or “look outside” and be ready and waiting with a bouquet of flowers

4.      Long distance?  Use tech tools like textPlus Face Text to hold a real-time text conversation with photos

5.      No Valentine this year?  Group texting and communities of friends are the perfect place to commiserate together

By Devin Miller

Love Life and Facebook, Laptop, relatemag.com

Remember the days when people found out you were dating someone by seeing you kiss
outside of class or hearing about it through the gossip grapevine? Thanks to society’s networking
powerhouse, Facebook, the beginnings and endings of our relationships are broadcast to the
public with a simple click of the mouse.

Relationship therapists and coaches Lori and Bob Hollander, from Relationships Work,
have shared their expert advice on numerous radio and television news shows. When it comes to
social networking and dating, the couple agrees “it’s a different world.”

With a quick glance at a Facebook profile page, one can learn an immense amount of
information about a potential date. Lori Hollander believes the window into one’s life is a benefit
of social networking. “You can find out a lot of information about people, where in the
traditional days we knew nothing about them,” she said. “You can get a better sense of who the
person is, what kind of friends they have, and what they’re interested in.”

Bob Hollander agrees, but also mentions that this could create a “false sense of security;”
a preconceived notion about a person that could end up being completely wrong.

According to TIME magazine, 60 percent of Facebook users are listed as “single” or
“married.” Of those that are single, there is often pressure to create a profile that attracts others
looking for a relationship. “There might be anxiety to look a certain way, and then there is a lot
of anxiety to fully accept the way you are presented,” Bob Hollander said.

So now you have committed to a relationship, eagerly changing your status from “single”
to “in a relationship.” You have escaped the possible pitfalls of social networking, right? The
Hollanders do not believe so. The relationship experts urge Facebook users not to rely on the site
as a main method of communication.

The couple stresses the importance of face-to-face communication. “You lose so many
dimensions (on Facebook)…when you take away the body language, the eye contact, and the
voice, you are bound to miscommunicate,” Lori Hollander said.

Bob Hollander added that there are about 300 muscles in the face, and all of those
possible expressions are lost via the web. From reading something online, people attach their
own emotions to the text. “They can project those feelings onto the other person, and then make
the words that they’re receiving consistent with their idea about the person,” he said.

From listening to clients’ stories, the Hollanders believe social networking sites can be a
“huge cause” of cheating and affairs. Lori Hollander explains how an innocent conversation with
an ex can turn into an emotional re-connection. She says one should be hesitant when “friending”
ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. “You’re setting yourself up; it’s like you want to lose weight and
you decide to work in a candy shop. It just doesn’t work,” she added.

Although the Hollanders find several negative effects of social networking on dating, they
believe that if used correctly and for the right reasons, sites like Facebook can be beneficial. “It
has a lot to do with the person,” Bob Hollander explained. They both agree that Facebook is a
useful way to put yourself “out there.”

It may be safe to say our generation has witnessed the extinction of the blind date.
Facebook has altered the dating landscape, giving us the opportunity to discover endless
information about a person without even exchanging a single word. Today, we do not think twice
or raise an eyebrow to the question, “Have you stalked him yet?”

By Devin Miller

heart

It always seems that when you are single you cannot get away from cute couples holding
hands, or gushy love songs playing on the radio. It is only natural to long for a relationship when
you are feeling lonely. The truth is, you do not need a boy in order to be happy! Instead of
constantly believing that the grass is greener on the “in a relationship” side, start focusing on the
benefits of being a single lady.

-Focus on yourself. Without a significant other in your life, you have more energy to put into
yourself. Take advantage of the extra time and put it towards school work and extra-curricular
activities. By exerting effort into other aspects of your life, you will feel more in control.
Successful relationships take work in order to maintain, and this can sometimes interfere with
other facets of your life. For now, take all of that energy and use it on family, friends, and
yourself.

-Spend time with the girls. Plan a girl’s night! When you are in a relationship with someone, you
can miss out of spending time with your best girl friends. Your girls are a strong support system,
and cannot be taken for granted. A night spent talking and laughing with your crew can be the
best cure for any loneliness you may be experiencing.

-Appreciate family time. No matter what, your family will always be there for you. All they want
is for you to be happy, and they truly have your best interests in mind. If you live at home, make
an effort to have a family dinner. Ask your mom if you can help preparing it (she is sure to say
yes!). If you live away from home, family is just a phone call away. Pick up the phone and call!
You will feel much better after you talk (or even vent) to your mom, dad, sister or brother.

-Meet new people. Since you are not committed to a relationship, this is the time to meet all
different kinds of guys. You will learn very quickly what you are looking for in a guy, and what
you are not. By branching out and getting to know other people, you will have a better idea of
what kind of young man you will want to have a relationship with.

Although it may seem like you should be searching for “Mr. Right,” you will soon learn
that sometimes that guy comes around when you least expect it. Never settle for a relationship
that you feel is questionable from the start. Take advantage of being a single and concentrate on
yourself. Not only will you grow as a person, but also you will be 100% ready for a relationship
when you do meet that special guy.

Toxic Relationships

http://www.sxc.hu/photo/867275

How Do You Know When It’s Time to Go?

By Shannon Hembree

Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? You know, the kind of relationship that makes you doubt everything about yourself – the kind where you give and give and give and are totally crushed when he doesn’t give back. It’s the kind of relationship where you think your guy is so great that even if it isn’t the perfect relationship, you’re lucky to have him.

Sometimes you know when you are in a relationship that it is bad for you. Other times, you look back and wonder why you didn’t recognize the signs sooner, because they were definitely there. Or maybe, you saw the signs, but chose to look the other way, because you wanted so badly for the relationship to work. So what are the signs, and at what point do you just know that it is time to go? Below are a few examples of how women came to the realization that their relationship was over.

“I knew when my boyfriend didn’t come into my house to pick me up for prom. He honked from his car. We didn’t get any before-prom pictures at my house. My mom took one of me alone before I left.”

“I thought things were going well. I, of course, was envisioning our future together, and he just stopped calling. OK, that didn’t signal to me that he was not interested. When he did call, and I asked what was going on, he said he had just been busy and didn’t want to call if he didn’t have time to get together. OK, I can possibly get that…then I asked what he had been so busy doing…well, it seems he had been busy speed dating.”

“I knew it was time to go when we had broken up for the fifth time.”

“He would be great and really into me, and then he would stop calling for a while. When he wouldn’t call, I would write in my diary about how I loved him and then I would write how I hated him and then I would wonder over and over why he wouldn’t call. It was pretty sick.”

“I knew it was time to go when I would have preferred death over staying in the relationship. I could not fathom any more time with that person knowing it was making me so miserable and making me so awful to everyone around me.”

“I knew it was time when I realized I was better off without him than with him.”

Being in a bad relationship can sometimes be like watching a movie where you know how it will end, but you really want – and almost half expect – it to end differently. Just like the movies, bad relationships don’t develop happy endings if you wish hard enough that they will. It may seem impossible while you are in a bad relationship, but you will find the right guy for you when the time is right. So don’t settle for a toxic relationship, because you think you can fix it or you can’t do any better. You can’t fix it, and you can do better. You deserve to be treated well, and there are great guys out there who will do that. That’s the way it should be.

Written by Mary Kornegay, Relate Contributing Writer

http://www.poptower.com/images/db/6180/450/500/sterling-knight.jpg

Sterling Knight- This hottie is going places! Best known for co-starring in Sonny With a Chance, Sterling Knight got his big break as Matthew Perry/Zac Efron’s son in 17 Again. Knight can now be seen in Starstruck, a Disney channel original movie. Knight and costar Danielle Campbell shine on screen together, making this a must-see for this hunk’s fans!

Dylan and Cole Sprouse- These good-lookin brothers co-star in their own television show The Suite Life on Deck as Zack and Cody Martin. The identical twins were born August 4, 1992 and have been acting since they were a year old. Dylan and Cole have dual citizenship in the United States and Italy. You can hear the lovable twins next in Kung Fu Magoo and see them in The Suite Life On Deck on Disney Channel!

David Henrie- David Henrie is one of the charismatic stars of Disney’s Wizards of Waverly Place. His good looks help him stand out against the other adorable Disney stars! Henrie also stars in How I Met Your Mother, as the son of Ted, the main character. Henrie started acting when he was eleven, landing a guest spot on Providence. He is good friends with Brandon Smith, one of the stars of Sonny With a Chance. Be sure to check out David Henrie on Disney Channel!

http://media.photobucket.com/image/vincent%20martella/zeefster/VincentMartella.jpg

Vincent Marcella- Phineas and Ferb may seem like your every day kid’s cartoon. But the voice behind the main character, Phineas, is adorable and witty. Vincent Marcella is not only the voice of Phineas. He costars in Everybody Hates Chris, and recently played a nerdy knight in a medieval reenactment in the comedy Role Models. This young actor is also branching out to the music industry. Vincent’s album “Time Flies By” is available in ITunes. Be sure to keep a look out for Vincent Marcella!

Mitchell Musso- Mitchell Musso is all over the Disney Channel! As Oliver on Hannah Montana, he tears up the small screen with his humor and musical talent. Musso also starred in Hatching Pete, a Disney channel original movie. Along with Vincent Marcella, he provides the voice for Jeremy on Phineas and Ferb. Musso is multitalented and will definitely go far in his career!

Do you facebook stalk as much as we do?

Gray, 15, Charlotte, NC. “Not really. The only reason I have my facebook is to keep up with friends and events. I mean it’s cool if a girl ‘stalks’ me, but I’m not on facebook 24/7 checking up on people. I hardly ever look at other peoples’ pages.”

What is with the lack of hygiene?

Andrew Shuester, 20, Kernersville, NC. “Hey, I resent that. I smell great. No, really, I just don’t wake up and think ‘Oh, I’m going to class. I need to look my best.’ On the other hand, I enjoy looking nice. So usually if I’m not kempt and looking fly, it’s because I didn’t have time or had better things to do.”

Intelligence or Looks?

Jeff St. John, 21, Charlotte, NC. “I definitely like smart girls. But I’m not going to lie. Looks matter. I don’t think I’m shallow, but I like pretty girls, too. I guess in the end, intelligence reigns. I don’t want to introduce a girl to my mom who can’t keep up a conversation, even if she is gorgeous.”

Most girls are attached to their phones. If a guy doesn’t text you back, is it possible he just doesn’t have his phone?

Stephen, 18. “I never have my phone with me. I hate it when my girlfriend gets mad at me because I don’t have it, but sometimes I just don’t want to carry it around. And it isn’t because I don’t want to talk to you.”

Why can’t you just tell me what you’re feeling?

Henry, 17, New York. “Most guys don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves. Gender stereotypes suck, but it’s lame if a guy is overly emotional. When I really get to know a girl, I tend to open up more, but it’s hard to just say everything I’m feeling.”

What if I’m shy? How can I get your attention without looking desperate?

Jamie Wheeler, 19. “I personally don’t like over the top girls. They are just doing it to get attention. If a girl is nice and confident, I’ll notice them. They don’t have to throw themselves at me for me to see them. That is a real turn off.”

After seeing the movie “Valentine’s Day,” I can honestly say that I have fallen in love with the ten adorable, sexy, sweet (I could go on forever) male stars. A-listers from Bradley Cooper (“The Hangover”) to Taylor Lautner (“The Twilight Saga”) made appearances in this lovable film that follows the lives of eight couples on Valentine’s Day. This irresistible film will give you hope about love and tug on your heart strings.

Taylor Lautner, who has arguably the best part in the film, plays Willy, the high school jock who dates Felicia (Taylor Swift). Lautner provoked lots of laughs from audiences, especially when dealing with his overbearing girlfriend.

Bradley Cooper’s career is blasting off. After “The Hangover,” Cooper took the role of a sweet business man who helps Julia Roberts cope through a long flight home. Cooper’s character is the complete opposite of his “Hangover” character, which shows us a lot about Cooper’s versatility as an actor.

Ashton Kutcher can do no wrong. As one of the main characters, Kutcher steals the show with his adorable and affable personality. Kutcher’s character, Reed, is a hopeless romantic. After proposing to his girlfriend (played by Jessica Alba), he can’t help but tell everyone he meets that he is engaged. Reed’s excitement and hope in love inspires audiences to grab hold of that special someone and encourages people to step out of the box to find love.

Carter Jenkins is a relatively unknown face amongst the many famous ones in “Valentine’s Day.” He plays Emma Robert’s (“Hotel for Dogs”) boyfriend who is caught by Robert’s mother in a compromising position. Jenkins is undeniably attractive as he holds his own against the numerous stars in this film. Carter Jenkins will undoubtedly be a famous face after “Valentine’s Day.”

The men of “Valentine’s Day” will have you swooning from start to finish. These lovely men encourage the audience to believe in love. If you’re looking for a charming, engaging movie, look no further. You definitely don’t want to miss “Valentine’s Day.”

You’ll want to watch it again the minute it’s over.