by Joanna Paula L. Cailas

There I was fervently babbling about Holy Will and divine intervention and mercy and grace, praying for my crush. Only when I’m back home do I whack my forehead and think O Godric, I didn’t even pray for my asthmatic brother! That’s how forgetful emotion can make you. And if you’re not convinced, just check any statistic record of how many people kill because of rage and how many people both make love and kill because of, well, love.
We’re surrounded by media that more or less suggests that sex is part of life’s fun, and fun is never prohibited, right?

We are advised to say no, but while there are steps for saying no to drugs, cigarettes and booze, what about saying no to premarital sex?
We’re not little animals here, so I won’t talk about hormones as if we’re little mousies responding to our genetic make-up. When you think about it, or when you are asked, you definitely wouldn’t say it was hormones that made you kiss your first boy/girlfriend. How totally unromantic. No, you laid your lips on his/hers because s/he was making your heart pound so much at that moment you just had to make him/her know you were lovestruck and actions always yell better than words.
It’s not hormones. It’s our emotions. ‘Your love’, to speak romantically. Understanding this makes it easier to take action, and makes us responsible because we can always do something about what we feel. Like when I feel I’m about to punch my brother. I take a deep breath and count to three. No, ten. No, twenty.
Dieting—no sweet shop. Dating—no closeted space where emotions can cage us. We go to malls. Or resorts, or restaurants. Not to cabins in the woods unless it’s a camping party. No at-homes when it’s home-alone.
Another tip. When cuddling too closely and kissing too deeply and fondling too intimately, put a name to the deed. This alleviates the mood somewhat and toggles the switch from heart to mind mode. In those low books that would make Vatsayana blush, it’s never, ‘They sat down on the couch and began necking.’ Instead, it’s a detailed account of sensations and feelings. So stop feeling and start thinking and voice the thought. “Isn’t this necking? Shouldn’t we stop?” That’s like saying, ‘Isn’t this a match? Are we allowed to play with it?’ There will be laughter (Thanks, Captain Obvious!), maybe a scowl (Spoilsport!), but no fire.
Next time, I’ll think I’m mooning over my crush instead of thinking the universe was conspiring to get us together. Then maybe I’ll remember to pray for my more urgent petitions.

Written by Ellen Marie Hawkins

Burning River Ramblers

Burning River Ramblers is a band from Ohio, formed by a few guys who create music when they’re not in class at Ohio University.  Doesn’t tell you much, does it?  What if I was to add that they were named one of the “Top 25 Bands to Watch” by Cleveland Plain Dealer?  It might raise your eyebrows.  But would you want to listen?  How ‘bout I add that they’ve got a Latin flavor (think more Santana, less Ricky Martin), and that they’re incredibly infectious?  If you’re listening while studying, you’ll be chair dancing, and if they’re playing while at a party, your feet will moving (And your hips.  Probably your shoulders, too.  And, oh, why not, your hands will join in the fun as well).  Interested enough to at least read on?

This young band has got a great funky vibe, creative enough to throw in some western flair (yes, as in the Wild West-“Two Guns”), so much that you’ll be ducking for cover behind the bar at the saloon while holding on to your hat, and then taking you to the local carnival for a ride on the carousel (adequately enough, named “Carousel”).

While fun, I think these songs are slight detours on the album; the real standouts are the opening track, “See Ya Soon,” “Redwood,” and “Stranger on the Street” that put their creativity, soul, musicianship, and storytelling abilities front and center.  I was impressed with the flow of “See Ya Soon,” the light heartedness of saying goodbye to someone because sometimes, it’s just time, and really is there always a need to get so dramatic about it?  I loved “Redwood” for the fact that the song is about suicide, but it’s not the melancholy tune that I expected, yet it made me think, and “Stranger On the Street” took me on a journey.  I pictured everything in my head as the song unfolded, and I love that.

But the most impressive thing about these guys is that they’re just getting started.  Listening, I would have expected to read a biography about a much older band.  They flow so well, and the vocals, the guitars, the harmonica, they work together seamlessly that creates this very distinctive and lovable sound that you would think would take years to develop.  While one song, “Russian Roulette” earned them an explicit lyric warning and “Drink Now” is about the obvious, the talent and the strength of the above mentioned tracks make these imperfections minimal and easily avoidable.  My one word of caution?  Be prepared to become addicted on first listen.  This is a fun and really great debut.

Be sure to visit www.revernation.com/theburningriverramblers for more information and be sure to purchase from iTunes.

written by: Crystal Kelly

Guy Checklist

Safeguard your standards before they are tested. Determine right now what you want in the guy you choose to date. Do not make the mistake of dating first and trying to figure if this is what you want or do not want in a guy. When you go to the mall you have a budget and you know what you are looking for, so why not do the same with the guy you are considering in your life? In order to do this here is a safety checkoff list that will help you to determine if “that” guy is the right guy for you.

1) Does he believe in God? If so does he follow God or just claim to?

2) Where are his eyes when he is talking with me or other girls?

3) What kind of people does he hang with? Are they Christians? What kind of morals do they possess?

4) What kind of language comes out of his mouth?

5) Is he eager to meet my family and friends or only wants to spend time with me? (this type of thing may be flattering but in all actuality it can be a sign of control, a guy should want to meet your family to see how you were raised and who was responsible. He should also want to meet your friends because he should also have a moral checklist)

6) Is he insistent on you meeting with his family and friends?

7) Does he encourage your dreams or is he critical of you all the time (claiming he only wants the best for you)?

8) Has he clearly defined his goals in life and is he making the steps which leads to reaching those goals?

9) Do you have the same interests really or are you just attracted to how he looks or who he is?

10) What kind of places does he suggests for dates do they make you feel comfortable or uncomfortable?

11) If you ask him a direct question does he dance around the answer or look you straight in the eyes and answer the question? (if asked a question and someone dances around it they are hiding something yet at the same time wanting to seem as though they have answered your question. Beware of this behavior these are warning signs of secrecy that will ultimately lead to straight out lies and distrust.)

12) Does he talk about living together rather than getting married (suggesting the common line of “we should see how well we mesh together before making such a serious commitment” this is definitely out of God’s will)?

13) Does he want to touch more than talk?

14) Can you share openly and honestly with your mother about what the two of you did on a date?

15) Do you feel like you can be yourself around him or do you feel as though you have to change to make him happy? (the person you are should be appreciated and respected not trampled on and made to feel inadequate)

16)Is he respectful of your times away from each other or is he is jealous?

17)Does he respect your levels of comfort or is he critical or judgmental towards it?

These are just a few things you may want to be aware of when evaluating whether or not to allow a guy into your precious environment. Sometimes it may seem as though you are the only one without someone because you have set standards so high that no one could fill. Do not believe that, God has set high standards for you because you are a child of the king. Do not live in a world of dreams in which reality turns around and bites you. Wake up and deal with the hard issues that will guide you down a path of non-regret. A princess is not allowed to marry just anyone but she must marry “the one” usually chosen by her father the king. Work through the moral standards God has chosen for you and you will have a true happy beginning with the guy God has chosen.

For kids and young adults both, it’s a good way to in a sense “say” what you want without having to actually say it. This allows teens both male and female to avoid awkward situations with the other sex such as asking them out on a date(starting a relationship- scaredy cat) or breaking up with them(ending the relationship-a real jerk) along with all the other awkward moments found in between.

A question that I’m sure many teenage girls have while texting a guy is “How do I tell if he likes me or just isn’t interested?” A very obvious but often complicated solution to this very common problem would be to bluntly ask the guy if he is interested in you. This causes problems for many girls because they may not feel comfortable asking such an important question either because they are very shy or just afraid of what the answer may turn out to be. One thing that girls may not understand is that guys are in the exact same situation and are just as scared as you are when it comes to asking these types of questions even over texting! So is there any way that a teenage girl can determine whether a guy is interested just in the way that he texts?

I believe that, yes, there are a few ways through a guy’s texting that can help a girl to answer this very interesting question:

First Sign

If a guy puts any sort of smiley faces (especially the winky face ;) ) he usually wants to be either your boyfriend or is at least interested in you.

Second Sign

Asking questions about your family or other personal issues also indicates that a boy may be interested. 

Third Sign 

If a guy is the first to text you or texts you often, he may just want to date you.

Fourth Sign

Laughing at things that wouldn’t normally be funny is another great way to answer this question.

Fifth Sign

Responding to texts very quickly shows a guy is really interested in the conversation and wants to keep talking.

On the other hand, there are also a few ways to determine if a guy is just not interested in dating you:

First Bad Sign

One word answers (i.e ya, okay, haha) that are an attempt to end the conversation are usually a good indicator that a boy doesn’t want to date.

Second Bad Sign

Responding very slowly to text messages or not responding at all shows that a guy doesn’t really want to be talking to you (as bad as that sounds).

I really hope this helps you girls to understand more about texting the opposite sex and how it really isn’t as complicated as one might think. If you have questions you want to ask me or ideas for future articles shoot an email to thescene@relatemag.com and I’ll be able to address them in my upcoming blogs. Happy texting!!!

-Zack

Want to know more about the author? Click here to check out his profile, ladies!

So we all have watched the “New Moon” trailer at least 20 times, and every time it gets better and better! Click below and see if you can complete the puzzle to put the “New Moon” trailer scenes in order from beginning to end. Complete the puzzle and win an entry into the “What’s Driving Edward” contest sponsored by Volvo.

Play for your chance to win!

Contest sponsored by Volvo.

Looking around at the smiling faces, it’s hard to deny that the holiday season is upon us. This is the perfect time of year to celebrate with family, friends, and that perfect boy in your life.

Unless of course that perfect boy doesn’t have a clue; or is non-existent.

No worries, keep up the cheery attitude. There are plenty of reasons to celebrate being single around the holidays. Here are the top ten reasons why being boyfriendless is pure bliss.

Being single around the holidays rock because…

1. You have an excuse to hang out with your family during the holidays without feeling silly.

2. You never know who you might meet under the mistletoe.

3. You will have one less present to buy.

4. You can plan a fun holiday get-together with the girls- no boys allowed.

5. You get to avoid the awkward afternoon with his family and can instead enjoy your own family traditions.

6. You can wear the silly snow hat and gloves and not worry about impressing anyone.

7. You can make a list of New Year’s Resolutions with just you in mind.

8. You can spend an entire afternoon baking cookies with your mom and stuff yourself with sweets.

9. You can indulge in the holiday classics and avoid the endless hours of watching football on television.

10. You can start your own tradition.