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positive • Relate Magazine

Building A Better Body Image – 5 Things Every Late Teen Should Know

Body image is a priority for all, but carries an even greater significance for young adults. Not only does looking good make us feel good. It additionally has a huge impact on the way others view us, which further influences self-confidence and other features.

There’s no better time to start your positive body transformation. After all, it’s easier to make those changes while you’re still young. But before you do, it’s imperative that you equip yourself with the necessary knowledge to gain great results. Here’s everything you need to know.

Negative influences will take their toll. This is the stage of your life where you may be more likely to fall into the traps of alcohol consumption. There’s nothing wrong with a night out on the town, however, trading some of those beverages for mocktails can bring huge rewards. They are still fun in social settings but don’t come with the consequences of alcohol.

Your body can use a boost during those early stages. If you want to gain a better body, there’s a strong chance that you have made past mistakes. An organic detox tea can aid your general well being to leave you feeling healthier than ever. This is the perfect foundation for building a successful workout and healthy eating plan too. Apart from anything else, those two breaks for a cuppa give you a great chance to reflect and plan things.

Motivation is everything. If working out feels like a chore, you will not keep it up for the long haul. Therefore, finding ways to stay motivated throughout your workouts is key. Whether it’s in the gym or on the track, this will have a telling impact on the efficiency of those activities. Most importantly, though, you need to ensure that skipped sessions don’t become a regular feature. When this happens, progress will be slowed. Consequently, that will send the likelihood of giving up through the roof.

The human body changes with age. Puberty affects everyone differently. Therefore, you may just need to accept that the body you had during your early teens simply isn’t possible. Learn to love the skin you’re in by focusing on achieving the best possible version of you. Ultimately, if you can achieve this goal, then the opinions of anybody else become redundant. If that doesn’t allow you to become the happy and healthy person, what will?

It’s not all about your body. In truth, your facial features will always be the key to feeling your best. While girls will want to perfect their makeup rituals, boys just need to focus on good grooming. Clothing is an equally important element as your fashion choices are what bring the style and look to life. Whether you create your own personal appearance or borrow ideas from celebs doesn’t matter. Whatever you do, though, ensuring that those outfits fit is crucial.

Inspirational Teen Talk Show

Hi, I’m Eunice. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was 14. I was very active in the ministry, daily devotions and happy with Jesus. When I turned 19, I met a guy that was a negative influence in my life spiritually. My life started a downward spiral. I stopped reading my bible, I hated going to church and I wanted out!

Thankfully, God sent positive people in my life to help me get focused. I surrendered my all, my life to Him and asked, “what’s my assignment?!”

He told me to reach out to teens and find the ones that are positive and making a difference in their schools, churches, and communities. Tell them that Christianity is not just for adulthood. A teen can be a devout Christian and still have wholesome fun.

I started a Talk Show where the Teen’s Voice can be heard. Inspirational Teen Talk Show display Teens and Teen mentors in a positive light. I believe in our youth and in their dreams. I believe God will make their dreams come true and they will fulfill their destiny!

If you are a Teen that would love to appear on the show and share your gift or talent with my viewing audience, please visit me at www.inspirationalteentalkshow.com

Celebrate Your Life

Celebrate Your Life

Ah-the teen years. While this time in your life has its stresses, it is surely full of beautiful memories as well. And what better to remind you of how amazing you are right now, than a charm bracelet?! We found the perfect bracelets and charms (which can even be designed just for you) to celebrate your life. Womanly Journey embraces the teen years with a true understanding of all there is to love about you. Not only do they make beautiful jewelry, but the bracelet comes with a book and each charm adds a page to the book-a book full of uplifting messages and positivity. This is something we just LOVE! Check it out at www.womanlyjourney.com.

Womanly Journey Charm BraceletWomanly Journey CharmsWho started Womanly Journey?
Womanly Journey was founded by Kristin Springfield. I started this business with the only vision; to raise self esteem in all women and girls.

Why did she start Womanly Journey?
Making a positive impact on the self esteem of women and girls will transform the world! When a woman moves through her life focused on being her best self, she then allows others the space and opportunity to do the same. Helping a woman to “come home to her best self” promotes inner peace and radiates love. She then is able to make decisions that are in alignment with her true self. Womanly Journey is that pebble thrown into the water to create the ripples of loving self esteem for all of us.

What does Womanly Journey offer?
Womanly Journey offers unique and original charm bracelet gift set designed to remind you of how amazing you are right now along your journey. The charm bracelet gift set provides symbols to remind you that you have what you need inside you. Each Womanly Journey gift has gift packaging options. The bracelet gift packaging comes with a gift book and with every charm gift package there is a new page to add to the book. The book is filled with original uplifting messages to surround you with positivity even when you are not wearing your bracelet.

When did Womanly Journey start?
Womanly Journey started 3 years ago as a gift for my daughter who was 12 years old at the time. I wanted her to remember how amazing she is, and that she already has what she needs inside her. I found that having symbols and messages as a reminder to believe in yourself, to love yourself, and to claim your freedom were something that women and girls of all ages are drawn to. These bracelets, charms, and messages have one purpose; to remember the greatness is within you right now!

Who is Kristin Springfield?

“I have acquired many roles along my life journey.  I am a woman, daughter, sister, friend, wife, mother, motivator, guest speaker, teacher, student, artist, free spirit and many more.  A common thread in all of my roles is a desire to aide others to remember their greatness lies within them.  I do this through the use of inspirational gifts with the desire to elevate self esteem.

Looking closer at moments in my life when I feel I am at my best, my core purpose comes into focus. I experience great joy when I see a person feel better about him/her self than they usually do.  The look on their face, the way they carry themselves, and the things they say at the moment when they return to their true self is so rewarding.    I am honored when given the opportunity to play a part in raising the self esteem in others.

Along my journey, I noticed many women, including myself,  suffer from low self esteem, negative self talk, self-defeating behaviors, poor choices, anxiety and depression, to name a few.  I decided to take steps in order to return to my true self.  Along the way, my self esteem expands and grows.  With greater self esteem, I have been able to move through this world differently – more joyfully and peacefully.  Women I have worked with shared that elevating their self esteem transformed areas of their lives as well.

I want to provide a positive alternative to women and girls. The inspirational jewelry line of Womanly Journey I created out of love for my daughter, all girls, and all women.  Womanly Journey is here to celebrate the journey of being a woman.  The jewelry and charms provide a tangible object to remind you how important and valuable you are.  I want women and girls to move through their lives believing in themselves, loving them, and claim their freedom while being true to their highest self!   I am a woman with a great desire to be the pebble in the pond creating ripples of loving self esteem in all women.  Womanly Journey is the pebble.

Life After Liftoff: Memory of You

Life After Liftoff: Memory of You

Written by Ellen Marie Hawkins

Life After Liftoff: Memory of You

Life After Liftoff: Memory of You

Life After Liftoff’s press release contains a mission statement of sorts from Lee Weiss,
founding member and vocalist for the band: “If you look around the world and you
are in a bad place yourself, you have the power to change your own circumstances as
well as the world around you. Having the opportunity to get that message out there is a
humbling thing for all of us. Our hope is that people walk away from our shows inspired
and feel there is hope to make changes for the better in the world.”

Um, yeah. Read that again. I’ll wait…

So you reread it? Awesome. Not exactly what you’d expect, right? I certainly don’t
anticipate reading those kinds of things in my email box. And to be honest, I didn’t want
to listen. Lee’s vision is so admirable, that I just want to give him a high five and tell him
to get to it. And to be brutally honest, there’s a huge breath that I take and expect to be
disappointed. He talks a really great talk. But can they walk that walk? As I wait for
that download bar to complete and my finger hovers over play, I’m expecting to be let

But here’s the thing…I’m not! Disappointed, that is. I listened to “Someday,” which is
really the third track on the three song EP, first. And while their sound may be somewhat
familiar and identifiable (think Blink 182; a nice blend of power pop/punk), their overall
message is not necessarily as easily found. Here is this college age band singing about
a relationship with a girl, and it’s not (gasp!) predictable/cliché. Not even a little bit.
Seriously, he wants to end a relationship, but he wants to do it respectfully and doesn’t
want to ruin the friendship or the potential relationship that they could have in the future.

Stop it. So, like, one out of three, right? Maybe the other two are more typical fare?

Nope. In fact, the other two songs, “The Promise” and “Memory of You” are even more
positive. My favorite was “The Promise.” The lyrics paint a promise of the type of
friend he will be as long as you “promise me truth/Don’t hurt me with lies.” “Memory
of You” is even more upbeat, both in meaning and tempo. If you find yourself dancing
along to this song that lingers in your head, don’t blame me. In fact, I’ll be found in my
little corner of the world doing the same.

So, if like me, you don’t think three songs are enough, there’s good news: a second
installment is scheduled for sometime this winter. Please be sure to download (Legally!
) from a digital retailer of your choice, and visit www.LifeAfterLiftoff.com for more
information. And, if you’re fortunate enough to ever meet these guys, give them that
high five for me; for not only having a great mission statement, but for doing their best to
deliver it.

Problems with Parents and Savvy Solutions

Problems with Parents and Savvy Solutions from Think Confident, Be Confident for Teens

Often the seeds of self-doubt take root and grow first in family relationships. The verbal and non-verbal messages we get from our family shape and impact our self-view. At home we can be ourselves, taking off our armor for the day, and family members see us for who we are. Our parents and siblings know how to push our buttons, making us vulnerable to self-doubt. Knowing your Achilles’ heel can help you stay clear of those feelings. Learn to pay attention to all the positive verbal and nonverbal messages your family uses to boost your self-confidence: they might be your greatest allies. Authors of Think Confident, Be Confident for Teens Drs. Leslie Sokol and Marci Fox offer common parent problems and savvy solutions to turn from self-doubt to confidence.

Problem #1: My parents are demanding too much.

Scenario: My parents push me into academically rigorous schedules and extracurricular interests to boost my resume. My older brother sets a high bar. I feel the pressure to excel. My parents are setting me up for failure by encouraging me to do things beyond my ability. I feel like I’ll always fall short of their too-high expectations. Why do they want me to take on work they know I can’t handle?

Advice: When doubt discourages you, pressure to perform can be intimidating. But regardless of pressure from parents, the greatest stress often comes from internal uncertainties. Doubt convinces you that you will fall short. Calling yourself names and forecasting a negative future makes you see failure ahead and can encourage you to quit without trying. Be very careful not to jump to conclusions. Ask yourself if your parents are demanding or simply encouraging you to perform. They probably have more confidence in your abilities than you do because they see what you can do. Collect the facts and consider the data that show you can and do handle difficult work. Instead of depending on your emotions as a guide for your actions, let the facts guide you. Feeling like you can’t tackle your schoolwork doesn’t mean you can’t. Instead of concerning yourself with your parents’ expectations, ask yourself what you want for yourself. Make sure doubt doesn’t interfere with reaching for what you want. Look at your parents’ expectations as encouragement instead of demands. When they push, consider them your personal cheerleaders. Success is in the doing, not the outcome.

Problem #2: My parents don’t like my friends.

Scenario: My parents don’t like the crowd I hang out with. Recently some of these kids have been getting into trouble at school and with the law. My so-called friends have started to leave me hanging out to dry while I have their backs. Now I’m starting to question my own judgment and doubt my friendships. I feel like I must have been brainless to think these were my friends. I won’t fit in with any crowd. If I accept that my parents are right it means I can’t make good decisions.

Advice: Be aware when you’re using extreme thinking and thinking the worst: that you’ll never fit in. Instead of looking at it from different angles and seeing the truth in your parents’ view, you may be tempted to dig in your heels, defending your position and your friends when collecting the facts would make it clear that you need a new plan to expand your friendships. Listening to your parents doesn’t mean you’re not in control. Instead of ignoring this information from another source (your parents), use it as one piece of data to help you formulate a broader perspective. Your parents have objective data: they notice which friends show up on time, keep a commitment, make eye contact with others, and are polite and pleasant to be around. They’re also aware when your friends antagonize others, destroy property even if only in fun, disregard house rules, are sloppy and inconsiderate of you and your things, or show up at inappropriate times. Listening to your parents’ feedback is a sign of a confident outlook. It means you accept you’re still the one in control but that you’re making your choices wisely, basing them on facts not on insecurity. Instead of using the ineffective behavior of defending your friends at all costs, put energy into healthy and reciprocal friendships.

Problem #3: It’s not fair.

Scenario: My older sister is a talented artist and my twin brother is always on the soccer field and has a car at his disposal. Just because I’m not a creative genius or an athlete and lied about hanging out at the mall, my mom has me babysitting my younger brother 24/7. I feel like I’m always yelled at and blamed for everything. I feel like my parents think I’m no good and have nothing going for me. I feel like they hate me and have no respect for me.

Advice: Insecurity may tell you that your parents think you’re no good. You might jump to the conclusion that your parents won’t give you the freedom to do what you want. Choosing to manipulate the situation by lying and sneaking around to gain freedom rather than asserting yourself and asking for privileges is not an effective way to get what you want. Instead of trying to manipulate the situation by unassertively stomping off to your room, slamming doors or sneaking around, try this: Collect the facts and consider all the possibilities. Your parents tell you they love you. It’s possible that all of their restrictions are coming from their own anxiety that you’ll put yourself in harm’s way. You know you’re a good kid and have enough self-respect not to make bad decisions, but you haven’t communicated this to them. Stop being unassertive. Getting more freedom won’t happen if you continue to sneak around and lie. Freedom comes from being direct and using effective, assertive communication with your parents to negotiate a plan that works for them as well as you. Have the confidence that you can talk to them and make a compelling case instead of assuming your situation is hopeless.

Problem #4: My Sister is the favorite.

Scenario: My older sister is the favorite. She is better than me at everything—she has better grades and she’s a star in the pool. My parents always put her in charge and give her more freedom. I’m always in her shadow and never feel good enough. I feel like my parents favor her over me. I can’t compete, so why try?

Advice: Walking in the shadow of a successful sibling is tough. Your doubt distortions cause you to make comparisons and question your abilities to measure up. You may ignore the facts and depend only on your emotions, convincing yourself that your parents favor your sister. Consider all the possibilities and you’ll see that your parents treat each of you differently because you are different people, not because one is better. Their praise for your sister is not an insult to you. Collect the facts and remind yourself of all the praise and recognition you’ve gotten too. Stop making comparisons and focus on your own strengths. Instead of jumping to the conclusion that you will never be able to compete with your sister, recognize that it’s not a competition. Consider another possibility; That your sister and parents are rooting for you. See them as allies rather than adversaries. Think of how much better you’ll feel when you stop comparing and start navigating your own path in life. Similarities and differences make each of us unique and special. Self-confidence comes from seeing your family as a cheering section rather than your opponent.

Problem #5: I don’t want to mess up my relationship like my parents did.

Scenario: I thought my parents would be together forever. I knew they didn’t always get along and there was tension between them, but I never thought they would split up. Now they’re getting divorced and it’s turned my life upside down. I feel like this will mess me up for future relationships. I might do something wrong and end up like them. Maybe it’s not possible for two people to make it forever. Maybe it’s my fault they’re getting divorced.

Advice: Worrying is ineffective action that allows your fear to nag you. Your parents breakup is one unique situation, not a verdict on marriage. Just because your parents weren’t able to make their marriage work doesn’t mean you’ve inherited some sort of divorce gene. You may be able to learn what undermines a relationship by objectively reviewing your parents’ situation. Note the problems, then use the information to guide you in your own relationships. Have confidence that you’ll make better decisions with this insight. Look at it from different angles, and remember they had lots of problems unrelated to you. Collect the facts and consider the more realistic view that you were not to blame. Appreciate the wisdom you’ve gained from your parents’ mistakes. Use it to bring confidence to your future relationships.

Problem #6: Will I end up as crazy as my mom?

Scenario: For as long as I can remember, my mom has been unable to participate in ordinary life. She often spends days on end in bed leaving household chores undone. She leaves me on my own to fend for myself. I’d like to invite friends over or encourage my parents to attend things like school functions, but instead I go out of my way to keep my home life a secret. I carry my mom’s illness inside me as a dark secret and fear people will find out. I feel like I can’t let anyone know how bizarre my mom is because people will think less of me if they see. I’m afraid I’m going to be just like her one day.

Advice: You may feel convinced that others will judge you negatively based on your mom’s illness, and that you may end up like your mom. Collect the facts and think about what draws you to other people. Typically, your attraction to someone else is not based on what the rest of their family is like. If you were to critically examine any of your friends’ parents, you might find plenty of unlikable, impaired or odd people. Would that keep you from liking your friends? Your friends like you for who you are, not who your mom is or isn’t. Your friends base their opinions of you on all the assets you bring to the friendship. Qualities like intelligence, humor, personality, friendliness, kindness, compassion, and listening skills attract people to you. Have the self confidence to show that regardless of who your mom is, your friends will like you. Recognize that you are not your mom. Consider past experiences and think of all the ways you’re different. Know that just because she’s unable to handle life doesn’t mean you’re destined to walk the same path. Stop the ineffective actions of avoiding and worrying and take a different course of action. Stop hiding and be open about her, and you’ll likely be rewarded with support from your friends and increased self-confidence. Don’t forecast the future. Accept that your mom’s disabled, but don’t believe it suggests something about you or your future, because it doesn’t.

More about the Authors of Think Confident, Be Confident for Teens

Leslie Sokol, PhD, is director of education at the Beck Institute for Cognitive Therapy and Research. A highly acclaimed lecturer, Sokol is a licensed psychologist and cognitive therapy expert who maintains a private practice in the Philadelphia suburbs. Sokol has appeared in Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health, Shape, The New York Times, and The Boston Globe, and has appeared on The Montel Williams Show.

Marci G. Fox, PhD, is a senior faculty member for the Beck Institute for Cognitive Therapy and Research’s training program. She is a licensed psychologist and expert in cognitive therapy.