From Teen To Adult In 4 Steps

All girls will go through puberty at some point between the ages of nine and fourteen. This is the point at which a child’s body starts to grow and get ready for adulthood. There are some big changes that occur in a girl’s body during this time, some of which can be very strange and hard to come to terms with. However, no matter what happens to your body during puberty, there is no need to stress out about it! We have all been through it before and know exactly how you are feeling. Here are five of the most common things that change in a girl during puberty.

Breasts Develop

One of the most obvious physical changes to occur in a girl’s body is that her breasts will start to develop. At first, she will develop small breast buds, which will then become more fuller and grow into breasts. Not only will girls start to see these developments, but they will also start to feel them. That’s because their nipples will become slightly tender and sore. If you do find that your nipples and breast buds become painful, this is nothing to worry about and perfectly natural.

Periods Start

One of the main changes that girls worry about is the start of their periods. Most girls start at around 12 years old, but some can be as young as eight when they get their first period. There are various signs that signal a girl is about to get her period. These include a dull ache in her belly and a white discharge from the vagina. Once your period starts, you shouldn’t feel self-conscious about it. As long as you are using tampons or towels correctly, no one will be able to notice. Be sure to maintain good personal hygiene during the period, as this can reduce the development of infections: www.popsugar.com/moms/Signs-Yeast-Infection-Girls-30947431.

Notice The Opposite Sex More

During puberty, there will be some big hormonal changes in your body, and as a result, you will start to notice the opposite sex more. This means that you might start to fancy boys and could be sexually attracted to them. Even though you may feel ready to experiment sexually, you should wait until you are married. Abstinence is the best way to protect against unwanted guilt, regret, pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections: www.prioritystdtesting.com.

Gain Weight

Most girls find that they gain weight during puberty. This is a result of the hormonal changes, as the body is getting ready to bear children. You will find that your hips become a lot rounder and you start to develop fuller thighs and arms. Don’t worry, though; this doesn’t mean you are getting fat! It is just your body changing from a child’s into a woman’s! There are other factors that may affect the weight gain, such as going on the contraceptive pill.

Once you are prepared for puberty, you shouldn’t find the changes that much of a shock, and will be able to be happy throughout this phase!

How To Take The First Steps To Making Your Career Dreams Come True

vetHave you dreamed of doing something since you were tiny? Can you remember the day you decided what you wanted to be when you were older? Have you recently made up your mind and set your heart on a specific career path? Whether you’re 15 or 55, it’s always good to aim high, and try and make those career dreams come true. If you have plans for the future, here are some top tips to help you fulfill those goals.

Find out about academic qualifications

If you’re still in school, it can be tempting to choose subjects based on what you enjoy. However, if you have a career goal in mind, it’s best to check what kind of qualifications you need. Do you want to be a doctor or a vet, for example? If so, you’ll need to take scientific subjects. Have you got aspirations to be a teacher? If so, you’ll probably need Math and English. It’s wise to plan ahead if you know what you want to do. If you decide later, it’s not the end of the world. But you may have to take additional courses and sit more exams.

Take advantage of work-related opportunities

If you’re 16, you may not want a full-time job. Juggling studying and working can be tough, especially around exam season. However, it is beneficial to take advantage of work-related opportunities. Perhaps you could do some work experience. Or take part in schemes like work shadowing. This gives you the chance to see what the world of work has to offer. You get an insight into what day to day work involves, and you can see if it still appeals to you. Some jobs look more glamorous than they are. You may follow somebody for a few days, and decide that actually, you’d rather do something else. Work experience is also really valuable when it comes t getting a job or a training contract.

Be confident in your abilities

Confidence can propel you to the big time. It can also hold you back much more than any bad grades. If you doubt your abilities, you’ll find it hard to reach your targets. If you want to do something, believe that you’re going to make it. Think positively, and don’t give up. It’s very rare to get the top in life without at least a few setbacks. If you can bounce back, learn from mistakes, and keep going, you’ll get there.

Make sure you’re prepared

It’s essential to be prepared for any job. You could be the best musician out there. But if you don’t have anything to show a record company boss, you may blow that precious opportunity. If you’re keen to break through, order customized CDs from sites like Nationwide, and book some gigs. If you’re hoping to work in business, make sure you’re ready for interviews. Practice your presentation, and ensure that it’s slick and engaging.  

If you have designs on a dream job, it’s never too early to start planning. Choose your subjects carefully, and take advantage of opportunities to get experience. Make use of careers fairs, and showcase your talents. Make sure you’re prepared at all times. You never know when that shot at the big time may come around. Most importantly, be confident, and believe that you can achieve your dreams.

10 Steps to Reduce Stress in Your Life

10 Steps to Reduce Stress in Your Life

By John Koeberer

stressed outThere is no doubt that stress kills.  There are many health professionals and medical analyses that validate the strong negative impact stress has on your health and general well-being, as well as your longevity.  It is the chronic, day in and day out stress that is the problem.  It can exacerbate pain, cause depression, obesity, digestive disorders, autoimmune diseases, heart disease, and even contribute to the advancement of Alzheimer’s and cancer.  There is good evidence that uncontrolled stress takes a major detrimental toll in so many areas affecting your good health…physical, mental, and emotional.  There is good reason to learn how to control it.

Stress is the result of receiving some sort of threat to our well-being and your body reacts by secreting cortisol and adrenaline which increases your heart beat, blood pressure, strength, stamina, and general alertness.  That threat can come from many sources but it usually is job or relationship based but other sources can be problems with your children, your health, or your finances along with your own unrealistic expectations.  Your muscles become tight, your senses are heightened, and you are ready for flight or fight.  You learned all that to survive many centuries before.  We all know that prolonged stress is bad stuff…the important thing is knowing how to deal with it effectively.  Here are ten steps to help.

1.  Accept the fact that few escape stress.  Don’t think you are immune and not subject to its negative consequences.  Know thy enemy.  Educate yourself more fully on just how stress can manifest itself.

2.  Know for certain that you can beat stress.  This is key…it is this inner knowing — not just believing — that will make you successful in your head to head with stress.  Go onto the internet and review all the positive stories of those who have dealt successfully with stress and come out on the other end with productive and happy lives.  There is much value in the knowledge that others have experienced exactly your situation and more than survived very successfully.

3.  Get comfortable with your own physical, emotional, and mental self-maintenance regimens.  Know that a good diet, a strong exercise program combined with a good self image, and some inaugural low key spiritual practices can prepare you to deal successfully with stress.  Just the knowledge that your mind, body and soul are in sturdy shape is a huge deterrent to stress getting a foothold.

4.  Adopt the attitude that “as one door closes another one always opens”.  Know that all things happen for a reason and that there is something better just around the corner.  When you start “knowing” this, you will see so many examples magically start appearing in your life.

5.  Bring humor into your life… Documentation abounds on the positive impact of humor.  Watch humorous movies, explore humor on the internet, and learn to laugh things off.  When you laugh, your body secretes endorphins – positive mood enhancers.

6.  Adopt more positive friends and discard those that are continually negative. These kinds of people have an immense negative impact… avoid them.  Cheer up your living environment by bringing more cheerful, optimistic, and friendly people into your life.  Turn the lights up, take time to smell the flowers and treat yourself on a regular basis to some chocolate, or a splurge dinner or vacation.  It is important to have something to look forward to that makes you smile.

7.  Bring more sunshine into your life…literally.  Vitamin D3 is good for positive physical, mental, and emotional enhancement.  Get out from under the umbrella and enjoy the warmth for short periods.

8.  Adopt the thought that … “this too shall pass”.  We can all recollect so many times in our life of instances that we thought at the time were real deal killers…only to turn out to be not even a small ant hill.

9.  Eliminate the need to be “right”.  Needing to be right is so important for so many of us that we destroy relationships and careers and eventually ourselves in its pursuit.  Dr. Wayne Dyer has a great way to diffuse situations in which you find yourself needing to be right.  He says just to say to the offending party, “You’re right about that!” and then let it go.

10. And finally and most importantly…Imagine yourself living a life without stress.  Deeply internalize what that life might look like and feel the emotions that accompany that life and then start living your life as if that life was already in and about you.  Adopt some time each day for some contemplative moments to remember to do all these exercises but especially this one.

Someday, health experts will look back on how we are living our lives and realize how deadly stress was to our 21st century society.

Never Say Never…

Never Say Never…

Life Coach Reveals How to Get Over The Worst When It Happens To You!

embrassed

embrassed

We never imagine ourselves as the victims, but sometimes, the things we think could never happen to us find a way of happening.

Too many of us replay in our minds the events that led to those circumstances, but life coach Teri Johnson believes that reviewing the past isn’t the answer. What we do next is what matters the most.

“All the things you never thought you’d experience, but did, leave behind lingering after effects that can stop us in our tracks,” said Johnson, author of Overcoming the Nevers (www.overcomingthenevers.com). “Shame, guilt, anger and resentment start to sink in. We start to believe lies about ourselves, such as ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m undeserving.’ We escape our pain and these toxic feelings by retreating into unhealthy behaviors and addictions. But there is freedom from the struggle. There is hope in discovering the truth. There is a way to fall in love with who we are to experience a joy-filled life.”

Johnson shares a solution to overcome those feelings in a series of 12 simple steps that she feels can be practically applied to our lives – if we are ready to do the work.  Here are five of the these steps…

  • Willingness – Freedom starts with willingness. You have to want this for yourself. There is no one who can decide for you, or do the work on your on your behalf. Willingness is readiness.
  • Acceptance – Do you have the strength to make the changes necessary to turn a situation around through an attitude of acceptance? Or will you remain powerless, remain in the state of non-acceptance and let everything around you dictate how you feel? I can’t change somebody else. Period.
  • Surrender – All of us are surrendered to something.  What we surrender ourselves to ultimately becomes our god, what we worship, turn to, or rely upon.  The question is, what are we surrendered to? Is it something firm, solid and long-lasting, or something that can slip away, burn to ashes or be swallowed?
  • Courage – We cannot overcome an issue we do not know exists, we need to search. We cannot become who we were created to be, without embracing our strengths and uncovering our God-given gifts and talents. So we need to look through our lives carefully to find the answers. How do we do this? Without fear with courage, boldness and bravery.
  • Responsibility – We have a responsibility for ourselves in all areas of our lives in all of our roles. No one can attempt to change us or to control us, unless we give them the power. We need to be the change. Admitting opens this door. Will you walk through it?

“Many people just want a quick fix and aren’t willing to put in the work required,” she added. “…Divorce, drugs, addictions, obesity – they can all creep up on us if we aren’t diligent. The key thing is to understand how to handle those ‘nevers’ when they occur, and not be daunted. It’s never easy, but always worth it.”

About Teri Johnson

Teri is a writer, inspirational speaker, and sought-after personal growth expert. Her unique strategies have helped transform the lives of her clients, enlightening, guiding and motivating them to achieve even their most deeply desired goals. Teri is the President and Founder of Keeping It Personal (www.keepingitpersonal.com), a company that specializes in self-development training and discovering your life purpose.

Communicating In Your Relationships (With Anyone)

Communicating In Your Relationships (With Anyone)

girls whispering
girls whispering


What’s your communication style?

There are lots of things that can go wrong with a relationship when we’re not communicating properly. By being mindful of communication styles we can focus on developing the skills necessary to get our points across effectively and improve the quality of our relationships. What’s your communication style?

Passive

· Do you try to push your feelings away rather than express them to others?
· Do you worry that expressing yourself will cause others to be angry with you or to not like you?
· Do you often hear yourself saying “I don’t care” or “It doesn’t matter to me” when I do care, and it actually does matter?

· Do you try not to “rock the boat,” keeping quiet because you don’t want to upset others?
· Do you often go along with others’ opinions because you don’t want to be different?

Aggressive

· Are you concerned with getting your own way, regardless of how it affects others?
· Do you often yell, swear, or use other aggressive means of communicationg?
· Are your friends often afraid of you?
· Do you not care if others get what they need as long as your needs are met?
· Have you heard others say that you have an “it’s my way or the highway” attitude?

Passive-Aggressive

· Do you have a tendency to be sarcastic in conversations with others?
· Do you tend to give people the silent treatment when you’re angry with them?
· Do you often find yourself saying one thing but really thinking another?
· Are you generally reluctant to express your emotions in words, resorting instead to aggressive behaviors, like slamming doors?

· Do you try to get your message across in more subtle ways for fear that expressing yourself will cause others to be angry with you or to stop liking you?

Assertive

· Do you believe that you have the right to express your opinions and emotions?
· When you’re having a disagreement with someone, can you express your opinions and emotions clearly and honestly?

· Do you treat others with respect while also respecting yourself during communication?
· Do you listen closely to what other people are saying, sending the message that you’re trying to understand their perspective?

· Do you try to negotiate with the other person if you have different goals, rather than to focus only on getting your own needs met?

Hopefully you now see that being assertive will help you in your relationships. But how do you do it?

Six s teps to communicating assertively

1. Be clear about what you want. The first thing you need to do is to decide exactly what you want in a situation. Once you’ve decided on what you’d like the outcome to be, clearly, honestly, and specifically, say what it is you want to say. Try to state your own feelings first in order to come across as you taking responsibility for your own emotions rather than blaming the other person for how you feel. Other people are not always going to agree with the choices you make, but how they feel is their responsibility, not yours. And you’re not obligated to change your mind because of how someone else reacts to your decision.

2. Listen mindfully. Being assertive isn’t just about getting your own needs met—it’s also about trying to meet the needs of the other person so that you both come away happy. It’s important to know what the person wants from the reaction, so pay attention and make sure you’re not doing something else while they’re talking. Listening mindfully means with your full attention, noticing when your mind wanders and bringing it back to the present moment.

3. Be nonjudgmental. Being nonjudgmental is important in order to reduce the amount of emotional pain you experience. This skill is also incredibly helpful when it comes to relationships. You know how it feels for yourself when you’re being judged, so try to talk to the other person the way you would like to be spoken to. Don’t blame, don’t judge—just stick to the facts and how you feel about the situation.

4. Validate others. Validating others comes in handy when you’re trying to communicate effectively. Reflect back to others what they say to you so that they know you’re listening and understand what they’re saying. If necessary, ask questions to clarify so that you do understand. Let them know that what they have to say is important to you and that it makes sense, even if you don’t agree with it.

5. Act according to your values and morals. Know what your values and morals are and stick to them. If someone asks you to do something that goes against what you believe in, you won’t feel good about yourself if you agree to the request. Don’t make excuses. It’s perfectly okay to say no and to be honest about the reason—even if it’s just because you don’t want to—and doing so will help increase your self-respect.

6. Don’t overapologize. Often we have an urge to apologize for things that aren’t actually our fault. Saying you’re sorry means that you’re taking responsibility for something, that you’re taking the blame; this will make you feel like you’re in the wrong and will indicate that to others as well. Over time, this feeling of being responsible for things that you’re really not responsible for will decrease your self-respect. Apologize only when you have done something you truly need to apologize for.

To learn more about how to communicate effectively, check out a book that was released March 1 by New Harbinger, Don’t Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens, a workbook steeped in dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) skills for learning to tolerate difficult emotions. DBT is clinically proven to help build emotion regulation skills which are useful for everyone but particularly for the millions of teens struggling with depression, anxiety and anger.

Click here for the book’s web site.

Steps to Avoid Being Late

Avoid Being Late

Avoid Being Late

http://www.sxc.hu/photo/999883

Steps to Avoid Being Late

Written by Ellen Marie Hawkins

I’ve been a punctual person for most of my life. I want others to respect my time by being punctual, and have always tried to show the same respect. But lately, I’m the girl who tries to fit in that one extra thing when I should be walking out the door. And, inevitably, I get behind that elderly gentleman on my way to work who refuses to drive the speed limit. Just as I start to blame him for my being late to work, my conscious is asking me who’s really at fault. Being late is causing even more stress in my life.

So I did a little research on Time Management, and here are a few tips I thought I’d share:

Time Yourself Doing Daily Activities

If you find that you are often late for work, time yourself going at a normal pace in the morning. You may discover that you’re really taking twenty minutes to take a shower when you thought you could do it in fifteen. Or how about that commute? Just because yahoo!maps says the trip should take twenty minutes but you have to go through that school zone, adding an extra five minutes, you must adjust for that minor inconvenience. When you are constantly underestimating the time needed, it adds up quickly.

Do the same thing if you constantly hand in things late at your job. Don’t say you can have something complete by end of the day if it just isn’t possible. It’s better to say you need fourteen hours to do something, finish it in twelve, than it is to promise a project will be done in eight hours and it really takes you ten.

Prepare in Advance

If you have an important meeting scheduled in the morning, prepare as much as you can the night before. Lay out your clothes, have your gas tank filled, have travel documents ready, do that final check on the correct address before the a.m.

It also helps to put keys and your purse in the same spot every day.

Be Early

Some people are anxious about doing nothing and waiting, which causes them to be late. At first, that sounded ridiculous until I thought about it. I have a favorite hair stylist who relocated to a salon where I felt uncomfortable. Rather than change stylists, too, I would waste time at home and arrive late, causing me a lot of embarrassment.

To avoid this anxiety, reward yourself when you arrive early for something. Treat yourself to that mocha or that game on your phone that you love but never have time to play or a few minutes to read that novel you’re trying to finish.

Consolidate Calendars and Reset Clocks

If you have more than one calendar, using one for work and the other for personal use, consolidate it to one to avoid double bookings. I also read many recommendations to set clocks ahead to convince you that you’re later than you are. With cell phones and so many atomic clocks (including our computers), this is more difficult than it once was, but there’s still the clock on the dash of your car, or the old fashioned wrist watch that you can rely on to psychologically convince you that you should hurry faster than you really need to.

Not on Time

It’s already been said, but be early. If your focus is to be exactly on time, you’ll inevitably be late. There are always bumps in the road, friends who want to chat, and traffic that will throw a monkey wrench in your best intentions. Add extra time to get to work, between appointments, and for those projects you’ve never done before. Friends will appreciate your efforts, you’ll be more responsible and respectful at work, and you’ll spare yourself the embarrassment of always apologizing for being late.